Awesome!

I'm not just sayin'

I'm not going to talk about how my office is about 3 blocks from Harpo studios, and I'm not going to talk about how I've befriended a few people on the Harpo staff, what with being all so close and all. And I'm not going to talk about how if I want to go see the Oprah show, all I have to do is make one, maybe two, phone calls.

And I'm not going to talk about how one day, after a live taping of the show, I maybe got an email that said, "Hey we have some extra stuff if you want to come over and pick up a gift bag." And I'm not going to tell you how I wrote back in all caps DO YOU HAVE THOSE NAIL SLICK THINGS OPRAH TALKED ABOUT?!

And I won't say that they did, and I got one, and I painted my toes in 5 minutes, and then threw the greatest invention of the world into my purse and walked back to my office.

I like my dimples on my face, thanks

You know what is NOT awesome? I'll tell you. Cellulite is not awesome. And yet every female I know, including those who are a size 2, have it.

As a feminist, I feel like I should celebrate my body no matter what it looks like. As someone who has already paid for a beach house in July, I am slightly panicked about appearing in public in a bikini after months of beer and wings and too few trips to the gym.

If I was the praying type, this stuff would be the answer to my prayers. I've been using it for three weeks and I swear I can tell a difference. And it's far cheaper and far less dangerous than lipo. 

Restore me

This winter ruined my hair. The air was so dry even though everything was covered in frozen water, and each follicle on my head suffered from the weather related bipolarism. It's been so dry and unmanageable and frizzy I didn't know what to do and just sulked around in pigtails.

Until I gave up my rule of never using drugstore beauty products and spent $5 on Pantene Restoratives shampoo and conditioner. Uhm. How do I say this so you understand what I'm feeling after the first wash and dry?

HOLY SHIT!!!!! Restoratives is right! My hair shines! And bounces! It hasn't bounced in months. I cannot fucking believe that this stuff worked, but I haven't been able to stop running my fingers through my own hair. In public. Ok that's gross, but totally worth it.

If you were made of hot dog, would you eat yourself?

I'm a bit afraid of anything that is expressly made of whipped cream and carries a warning for me not to eat it. How can I resist! It's made of whipped cream for God's sake!

This great moisturizing cream could be the thing to turn me around, since it's made for slathering on your dry, cracked skin and not all over your tongue. It promises to soothe my tired skin, and although it smells surprisingly just like whipped cream, I'm going to guess I won't have the urge to bite my own arm off.

Plus I have a feeling eating myself could kill me.

My two cents

Ok guys, we talked about this last year. You know the drill: It's winter, your skin is dry, you need to fix it.

Get this moisturizer, make sure it's the type for dry, sensitive skin, and every morning and every night, dab a bit on your face and hands. You're going to do this until March.

Ladies, I know you've already begun your winter skincare regime, but please don't use Lubriderm lotion on your face. Splurge a bit on the fancy stuff and bathe in it if you have to, but don't put cheap hand lotion on your face!

A 2oz. jar will last you 6 months, which means the $38 price tag works out to about $.02 per day. Trust me, you can afford it.

Non-champa

A few months ago I had a friend over for breakfast and I was so embarrassed because my neighbors were burning the most horrendous incense I've ever smelled. I could smell it all around me wherever I went in my house, and I had to sheepishly say to my friend, "I'm so sorry about that terrible smell. It's my horrible neighbor's incense."

He was all, "Really? I don't smell anything."

Then I realized it wasn't my neighbor's incense, it was the smell of my new shower soap all over my skin!!! OMG! Gag! Gag!

That's when I switched to plain old perfect clean Ivory soap. It does the job with just a light scent and doesn't leave you smelling like some aging hippies who fight all the time and leave their dog barking at squirrels through the window ALL. Day. LONG.

Jason PowerSmile

In the two weeks since I moved to NYC, I've made some pretty good discoveries: great stores, awesome grocery chains, where to score some amazing sushi, but my favorite find has to be this toothpaste my boyfriend uses. Seriously, you buy it at the hippie store and it totally blows Crest or Colgate or even Mentadent out of the water. First of all, it tastes good, it makes your breath fresh and it actually really whitens teeth! Plus, it's free! Well, if you get it from your boyfriend's bathroom cabinet like I do.

Sick day

So did you get your flu shot yet? No? Well I guess you're probably going to die then.

Or you may just get a really severe case of the sniffles, which would be a great excuse to call in sick and stay under the covers and watch old Disney movies on your laptop in bed. But then your boss may just say, "Oh, take some of this awesome Tylenol multi-sympton cold medicine that comes in a convenient day and nighttime pack - enough for a whole week of sniffle free days and sleep filled nights - and then shower and get to work!"

Or skip it if you really want that sick day, because this stuff works.

More bounce to the ounce

Thinking I'd give those commercials a run for their money, last week I surrendered my hair to some cheap, $2 shampoo and conditioner that I'm not going to name but it rhymes with Mauve. Guess what! THAT SHIT DOESN'T WORK!

Not only does it NOT WORK, it completely dissolved every ounce of bounce my hair ever had, and I was left with a stringy, bland, $2 nest on my head. This was even more justification for spending ten times as much for Philosophy's Shear Splendor shampoo.

It's more expensive, BUT:

• It works better
• You only need to use a dime size amount for all hair lengths
• One bottle will last you forever
• Save your $2 to tip your bartender after he gives you a free shot because he can't keep his eyes off your beautiful, bouncy, sparkling hair.

Deal with the Devil

Dear Tide:

What have you done with my soul?

Oh right, I traded it to you for laundry detergent that smells like gourmet candy and the freshest cut flowers, so I guess we're even.

How about next time you up the ante and make bacon-scented fabric softener so I can wash my sheets in it and have sweet, sweet dreams of breakfast foods? For that, I'll send off my first born.

Deal.

Consumer Reports: Method OMOP

I picked up this Method OMOP starter kit the other day in the hopes that it will replace my lousy Swiffer and actually clean the 900,000 sq feet of hard wood floors in my house. Here's the results of my test run:

CONS

• The packaging? What. The fuck. It took me 20 minutes to open
• How do you put it together!!!#$%?!? Oh, ok, I see
• It takes a while to get use to how it actually works since the oil causes the mop itself to drag a bit. Once you get the rhythm, you're golden

PROS

• Method products are ecological and safe for all living beings
• Sleek, ergonomic design makes applying pressure to the floor a cinch and it's pretty comfortable to use
• Almond scented cleaning oil makes your whole house smell amazing!
• Cleaned my floor thoroughly and dried quickly, and my floors are literally sparkling now
• I finally get to throw away that stupid Swiffer

Not that I know or anything

I don't know about you, but I never have skin problems, EVER. I never have manic breakouts when I'm stressed ever since I entered my mid-20's, and I especially did not have any trouble after using a horribly greasy sunscreen a few weeks ago that caused a breakout so bad I had to go to the dermatologist on a Saturday and get injections in my chin. I've never had to do that, ever.

But if I did have problems like that (thank God I don't), I would definitely use Philosophy's On a Clear Day blemish serum, that is extremely gentle, doesn't cause skin drying and flaking, and manages to clear up even the worst blemishes overnight.

Although I can't really attest to this truth at all.

Better early than never

In my attempts to acclimate to a place where it's impossible to leave your home for a certain 8 weeks of the year, I've started planning how I'm going to handle grocery shopping this winter. Because, basically, I don't want to leave my home for a certain 8 weeks out of the year.

Luckily, Amazon now offers subscription services on staples for your home, from dishwashing stuff to breakfast cereal and, yes, even those pesky feminine products. Not only do you get all your necessities without having to remember to buy them, you get 15% off and free shipping.

Sign up and set a schedule for things to be delivered automatically to your door and you won't ever have to worry about shoveling your car out of 19 feet of snow just to get some super absorbency.

Press 'n Seal

After I discovered Press 'n Seal at a BBQ a few weeks ago, I ran out and bought myself 4 boxes of the stuff and proceeded to Press 'n Seal my entire life. I Press 'n Sealed my leftover food, my freezer meat, fresh fruit, and even my hands, feet, makeup, socks, tools, and workout clothes for the hell of it. I even Press and Sealed my cats, which provided hours of entertainment for al involved.

People, if you haven't used Press 'n Seal, you are depriving yourself of one of life's simple pleasures. Plus, your food probably isn't staying very fresh. Or your cats cfor that matter,

911 for 3-1-1

After conducting a long distance relationship for over a year which has seen me take more cross-country flights than I care to think about, I'm convinced that there are at least 5 things that would make modern plane travel more convenient for the masses:

• a separate section for families traveling with crying, pooping babies
• a separate section for passengers who want to make small-talk with their seat mates
• when you turn on the faucet in the lavatory, the water just stays on without you having to keep pushing the faucet button, because, seriously? How are you supposed to wash your hands properly if you can't rub them together???
• free mini booze bottles
• essential liquid toiletries made in paper form to bypass that annoying 3-1-1 rule

Well, one out of five is a start, I guess. Now if someone could please do something about the faucet situation, I'd be a happy camper.

Seasons greetings

If you're a devotee of Airborne (like I am), you'll be happy to know they now make Airborne Seasonal, just for those nasty early summer sniffles you hear going around the office.

There is nothing like Chicago in the summertime, really. The nights are romantic, the mornings cool, the rest of the day is awash with pollen, dust, dander, featherweight skeletons of leaves, animal hair, mold, mildew, smog and construction debris floating in the air. It's a lovely place, really.

This stuff is a great chaser to my daily shot glass of Claritin and Flonase, and it even taste *just slightly* like lemonade. (If you hurry, you can get yourself a free sample on their website.)

Mrs. Clean

If it wasn't obvious already, I'm completely obsessed with cleaning. I've been a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser devotee since the beginning, but OH MY GOD, they have made it better.

If it wasn't already the most unbelievable cleaning product in the world, now it foams! Foam = soap built in, which = cleaner surfaces, which = less need to buy a bunch of flimsy Magic Erasers! Everyone wins!

If I sound too excited, you should have seen the layers of grease and grime left on my oven from the people who lived in my apartment last year. And you should see it now, so sparkling clean with that grime magically erased you'd never know this place was once a meth lab.

Awesome? You tell me!

So, my boyfriend just bought me these shoes--I know! he's a keeper!! But I was an idiot and wore them for the first time on a day we did a lot of walking and I got big-ass blisters. And obviously I can't not wear these super cute shoes, but I also can't have nasty blisters, either, so someone please help!!

I've never tried this band-aid blister block stick but I read in some magazine last week that it works really well. Has anyone tried it--does anyone know? Is it as awesome as it sounds like it could be?! And if anyone else has a good blister prevention method, please, please share--I know I can't be the only person with such a conundrum this time of year...*

* the sad thing is if it comes between cute shoes or pain-free feet, you know I'm totally picking the shoes.

Kissing Season: Now Open

Daylight Savings comes three weeks early this year which means one thing: kissing season comes early as well!

So get your lips in shape, guys! Yes I said GUYS, because girls, well we typically start prepping for spring in December when it's too cold out to do anything but moisturize. You guys sometimes forget your lips, and there's nothing worse than leaning in for your first spring fling and getting cut on some jagged chapped lip skin.

See? Gross, huh? Get yourself prepared.

Review: Conair Infiniti Wet/Dry flat iron

I got super lucky recently and scored this awesome Wet/Dry Flat Iron by Conair. Since it's a weird product to just up and buy at Target without knowing anything about it, here's a quick run-down of my first few times using it:

AWESOME:

• Works exactly like it's supposed to, on dry or wet hair
• Has a digital display that makes it easy to read temperature settings
• No frizz thanks to the ceramic plates
• The steam holes cut into the frame keep your hair from getting (and feeling) fried
• Heats up super quick, all the way to 400 degrees in about 45 seconds
• Really well made, not like one of those cheap $20 ones you've I've had for five years now that needs to be thrown out.

NOT SO AWESOME:

• Have a lot of hair? Get yourself a chair. Takes forever on wet hair. It says to towel dry hair first, but it might work more quickly if you half-dried it with a blow dryer. Probably works best on thinner/shorter hair.
• Kind of expensive, unless you get it online or at Wal-Mart

All in all, this is a pretty awesome product. A+++ will do business with again!!!!!

Redo and Done

Hi, my name is Sarah and I don't wash my hair everyday.

I know it says you're supposed to lather, rinse, repeat, but I just can't, I'm sorry. I have gargantuan hair. Hair big and thick and cascading in all these layers that I can't even fit in an ouchless ponytail holder, and blow drying it requires calling ahead to the power plant and asking them to set aside nine hours of energy for me and my styling tools, and then I can hear them turn the sirens on and alert the rest of the state of rolling black-outs.

So instead of doing that every single day, I just use Jonathan Product Freshen up mist in between washings. And since I tend to use it throughout the day, I bring along the teensy travel version with me so it's there whenever I need it.

It works so well the check-in clerk at your hotel might even tell you that your hair looks just like Jennifer Love Hewitt's, and after that you'll ask her if there's any complimentary scissors in your room.

This post is for the guys.

Dear Men and Some Women, Although I'm Sure Most Women Already Know This;

Winter is coming. You've been wearing flip flops and sandals since May. Your heels look like beef jerky, and the rest of your feet just isn't pretty at all.

This foot buffing pad cost about $3 and you can get it anywhere and it's made of sand and pumice and, I'm not kidding, it will help you tremendously. It's the best foot buffing contraption I've ever used, and considering I've been getting pedicures twice a month like clockwork for the past 6 years, that's saying a lot.

Just use it everyday in the shower for a week or so, then three times a week after that, and your feet will be better in no time. I know you've probably been told to use a pumice stone or a polishing rub, but you seriously cannot do that until we get through feet skin Threat Level Orange.

Milk was a bad choice!

Dear Margarita Bloom: This is a very bad idea.

I love sugar scrubs as much as the next person, heck I think that's the secret to my whole skincare routine. I use them in the shower, out of the shower, after the shower, any time a shower is involved in some way. But you can't do this to me, you can't make a sugar scrub and looks, smells and possibly tastes just like sugar cookie dough.

I'm telling you for reals: there is a chance I will eat this someday. I can't tell you why or how, but I just known it's coming, and I fear for myself. Please don't tell me it's made with real sugar and butter...OH MY GOD IT IS.

This is a very bad idea. I cannot wait.

Still Warm

I love great designs that solve an obvious problem, like  where do you put your flat iron and curling iron when you're packing? You get ready for your flight and they're still hot, so you're stuck waiting for them to cool or else holding them outside your suitcase until you're at the airport.

Forget twisting the cords together and stuffing them in your lingerie bag, get a pretty and heat resistant houndstooth bag for them! You can stick your hot or warm irons in there safely and not worry about your luggage exploding.

As an extra tip, don't wait for a trip to use it! Keep your irons stored in it daily and avoid cords spread across your bathroom sink all day.

Lynne's Favorite

Reader Lynne writes,
"I bought this crazy, expensive tweezers on a whim at Sephora and kicked myself the rest of the weekend for blowing an entire $20 on stupid tweezers! Who does that? Especially where there are plenty of tweezers in my drawer which were quality grocery store purchases.

Until!  Until I used them and cried...not at the pain but at the beauty of my new eyebrows. These tweezers get every stubborn hair that I would usually fight with for an hour and then give up with a sigh and a 'You won, stubborn hair'.

A high recommendation from this humble reader."

 

Favorite Anti-Frizz

I started growing my hair out this year from three inches long, and now it's past my shoulders and easy to wear in braids. I love my long hair, but I wasn't prepared for just how wavy my hair is when it's long and spent the first few months with my shoulder grazing locks tucked into a claw clip and wrapped in a scarf.

The only thing that tames it well is this awesome Dream Curls spray by John Frieda. Oh, John Frieda! How we love your color gloss and awesome shampoos, and now you make a handy little spritz for curly haired people that perfectly styles each ringlet and wave.

After a shower and some leave in conditioner, I spray this on my towel-dried hair, give it a few scrunches, and I'm good to go. My hair dries with perfect waves and none of that awful "I didn't blow dry my hair, can you tell?" frizziness.

And for $5 a bottle, I can't imagine anything better.

Kevin's Favorite!

Here's another reader favorite from Kevin in New York City:

"I have super fucking curly, unruly hair that's a total bitch to style or do anything with.  Seriously, it's a nightmare and I've often thought about just shaving my head and saving myself the trauma of dealing, but I think the girls like me better with the goddamn hair.  So, I use Crew leave-in-conditioner if I'm to have any chance of taming the mop.  It's the only thing that makes my hair manageable and I don't even know what all's in it, but I think there might be pepperint, cause it makes my head feel tingly.  Girl's like peppermint, right?  Do girls like peppermint?  God, I hope they like peppermint!"

Editor's Note: Yes, girl's like the peppermint.  Also, this shit's on sale for $7.61, yo.

Favorites from Emily!

Another awesome reader, Emily, sends her favorites!

Schick intuition razor: 100% worth the extra cost because you don't have to do the stupid lathering thing EVER AGAIN.

This table from Crate and Barrel that I can't afford but looks like it was just hewed by Norsemen. (check out the Room View and look at the awesome bench that matches it).

Pretty much everything here, except for the stuff that's all eileen fisher's skanky little sister.

Veronica Mars, which is hands-down the best show ever (watch the first season and you'll see).

Rebecca's Favorites!

Awesome reader Rebecca sends in her favorites!

Crafters for Critters, tons of cool crafty type goods and the money goes to animal resuce organizations. How can you not love that?

Orangyporangy makes cool clothes or ladyware as she calls it.  I haven't bought anything yet, but I really want to.

Anti-Factory repurposes clothing.  Her stuff goes so quickly.  You have to get on her mailing list to have a chance at anything.

Cotton Monster amazing stuffed creatures.  Come on, they're not just for kids.  I want them all.

Loft Party the best kitchen stuff and decor for the best prices.

Five Dollar Eyes

For those of us who live in dry, hot climates, the summer is an inevitable battle of our sweat versus our eye makeup. Eye shadow? You'll have to add an inch of base color just to make sure it sets. Mascara? Waterproof only, even if you're not planning on a swim. And eyeliner? Uh, please.

But these little liquid-filled cotton swabs from Bare Escentuals are awesome for cleaning up you under-eyes quickly and with no mess. They're each filled with a perfectly measured bit of aloe vera and vitamin E , along with some gentle eye makeup remover that won't turn your retinas to stone if you happen to get some in your eye.

And the best part? FIVE BUCKS.   

Sweet Sugar Scrub

To be perfectly honest, I'm pretty particular about my skin care regime. I'm a skincareaholic, so I never put anything with oil or fragrance on my skin, I use only the finest mineral powders and no foundation, and I've been known to moisturize up to 4 times a day.

So when Bidwell Botanicals offered to send me some samples, of course I was skeptical. But now that I've used their Cranberry Fig Sugar Scrub...Oh My God. This indeed isn't your ordinary scrub, it's something incredibly different indeed.

I don't think I've ever used a facial scrub or soap that exfoliated while not feeling like I was shredding my skin. Since the sugar scrub is so fine it doesn't hurt at all, it feels really really good. And after I was done cleansing my arms and legs and feet, I just had to do it all over again. I love this stuff, my skin is so soft and clean feeling now, it even softened the elephant knees I have for elbows.

And guess what! Just for this weekend it's on sale for just $13.50! Now I have to get back to obsessively exfoliating. Can't put it down!

Wrinkles and Cancer aren't sexy!

The sun's great, but who wants wrinkles and cancer?  I don't!  And as a vain, fair-skinned redhead who loves being outside, I've had to make sunblock a top priority, much like boozing and chasing boys. 

I've tried almost everything on the market, and Clarins is still my favorite brand when it comes to protection against the sun.  It's lightweight, non-oily, make-up goes over it just fine, and it doesn't clog the pores.  Sure, it's a little more expensive than Banana Boat or something, but do you really want to put something called 'Banana Boat' on your body?  I didn't think so.

And men!  Wrinkles and cancer don't look good on you, either.  Also, neither does a beer gut, so get yourselves together.  I mean, seriously!

* Neutrogena Sunblock is a great second choice!  I recommend the SPF 45 lotion for your bod.

People Against Dirty

I've been a devout Method Home consumer for three years now, and I'm still surprised to learn my friends don't use it too. I know it might seem like some off-brand generic cleaning product from Target, but really, Method is far from generic and if I do say so, it's very sheik. Not only is Method it's own brand, it's also one of the only all-natural, non-toxic and people safe cleaning products on the shelves.

I love the all purpose sprays and wipes that are non-toxic and safe for any surface. And the foaming hand soap! Oh how wonderful it smells! And don't even get me started on the laundry detergent and fabric softener. I swear it makes your clothes smell like clouds. If you don't believe me, buy their laundry starter kit and if you're not satisfied, I'm personally bring over your refund.

Method!  Clean air, clean water, clean homes, and clean living.

Dry Skin Is not Sexy!

I just used this free sample I got of Caress In Shower Lotion. Commence giggling, sexual metaphors, and cut!

ANYWAY. It's amazing! At first I had no idea what to do with it, oh my god you guys cannot stop thinking this is some kinky soft-core scene get your minds out of the gutter, the stuff is awesome. My skin felt better even when I was still in the shower, and ok, that visual isn't working either.

Ok how about: Everyone's skin is dead and gross from this unending winter we've had! It's not sexy! And it's about time everyone started moisturizing! Even you guys out there who only use things like an "in shower lotion"  when....oh forget it! I'm not even going there!

Venus on the go

In case you didn't know, everyon'es favorite Venus razors now come in a disposable edition. Awesome, if you ask me.

Scents to get you laid.

Someone told me recently that a new trend in men's skin care is to forgo cologne in lieu of overtly scented body deodorant sprays. To this I say:

WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG.

Understandably, men's fragrances aren't always the nicest smelling things and men have tended to overdose on them. (Hi, remember me, Jr. Prom??) But there's some great options out there for men wanting to leave a lasting impression for the lucky females who get that close to their necks, you just have to know where to look. A few of my recent discoveries:

• Burberry Brit For Men. Woodsy and vibrant, rose and mandarin mixed with cedarwood and ginger.
• Fresh Tobacco Flower. Smooth mint leaf and black currant swimming in slight tobacco and orange flowers and ivy. (This is one of my favorites!)
• Jack Black Blue Mark Eau de Parfum. Fresh, slightly minty, and infused with clean scents like juniper and ginger.
• Clean Men. Sexy, subtle grapefruit, lavender, and lime mingled with clove, wild raspberry and a delicate musk.
• Clinique Happy For Men. Tangy and crisp and light, citrus blends and a tiny hint of blossom.

And lastly, if you happen to spy a bottle in your man's medicine cabinet that reads "Calvin Klein," accidentally drop it in a hurry and rush out to buy him one of the above scents. Do it for all woman kind!

Unplastic Benefits

Here's a great alternative to the creepy Lara Flynn Boyle/Paris Hilton/Nicole Richie/Joan Rivers look: It's Philosophy's Unplastic Surgery kit. Little swabs full of fast acting tightening concentrate that helps smooth fine lines and rejuvenate skin.
 

"This ultra-hydrating formula also helps to provide long-term skin conditioning benefits and the convenient, mess-free applicator makes it easy to target specific problem areas."

Hey, if it can't be natural, at least it can be Philosophy, right?

Baconaids.

MMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmm bandaids.

I mean...bacon? Or...uh, that was gross.

Anthony Products for Men

There's nothing I like more than the smell of a freshly showered man. Ok, I like money, and I like finding money on the street, and then being given money for returning the money I found to its rightful owner, but money just doesn't smell like a clean man. That's why I adore Anthony skin and hair care products for men.

My favorite is the Citrus Cleansing Bar that makes a man's face smell like a freshly peeled tangerine you just want to gobble up in one bite. Also appetizing are the Peppermint Everyday Shampoo and the Energy Spray that's made with Cardamom Zest.

Absolutely yummy.

Hair Care

I beat the shit out of my hair on a daily basis. I am obsessed with coloring it and almost every day I blow dry it and THEN straighten it. POOR HAIR. So, I am also pretty good about using nice things to make it all pretty like. Yesterday I got this split end treatment from Garnier which is like $5 at the drug store.  I like to believe it is going to work out awesomely.

I also love this slightly more expensive cream from Rusk called Deep Shine Phyto  Marine Lusterizer, which smells delicious. I put that in after I am completely done styling my hair and it makes it all soft and shiny.